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Yep been there.Our Constitution and By-laws Orientation class usually weeds these folk out Charles A. HutchinsSenior Pastor SPWCCongregational Church of Godwww.spwc.church

Re: Annoying Church Folks: Wanting to be courted

There is no education like that acquired through experience. It's been awhile, but I've encountered some of the church folk you speak of over the years. The phone calls asking, Does your church offer this, or that–– do you provide this ministry, and that ministry? God love 'em. People want to find a place they fit, I get that. But, how about doing a Phillip and Come and see (Jn 1:46). I've wondered what sort of response I'd get if I were to ask, What are you going to bring to our church? Are you faithful in attendance? giving? Do you have a servants heart? Willing to volunteer from time-to-time? Hmm... the church is only as strong, and effective as its membership is supporting. Come and make our church better–– that would be awesome

It is hard for a young pastor NOT to fall into the 'courting trap'. Most everyone wants new 'apparently stable' folk.In rare occasions, it works great! That is looking mostly from the pew. Some facts but mostly just my [email protected]/

Take out your phone and ask for the phone number of their former pastor. You want to know what they are bringing to the mix.

Maybe the prospective member could call the last church the pastor was at - and find out the results of the last place he was at.It might tell him a lot

One thing is certain, we're ALL going to receive a report card some day. I humbly confess that I have fallen short many times. I continue to ask the Lord to give me a shepherds heart. The best we can do as believers is to live a blameless life (1 Cor. 1:8; Phil. 2:15; 1 Thess. 5:23), not a faultless one

I told the story of our recent membership process -- we were also asked to provide name and contact number of previous pastor, and an explanation of why we left the church. It was important to our new pastors to know we were not under discipline at a previous church, and that they would not be granting fellowship to someone to whom they should not be.

Some folks visit a church to determine just how THEY will be received. That is, will they be wined and dined, so to speak. I guess everyone would appreciate a church that did that, but there's often something else beneath the surface....Some people are really trying to determine how their ministry will be received. Will the pastor ooh and ahh over their prophetic and powerful statements? Will the pastor indicate that he is ready to put them in a leadership role very quickly, without a whole lot of vetting and observation? And there are many far more subtle ways that they can see and opening. If not the pastor, do the MEMBERS seem to be thrilled to have them (which might mean allowing the newbie easy access to having authority).I don't think most of these people come with those specific thoughts in mind, but there can be a subconscious desire to have immediate authority, have a ready-made fold of sheep who will heed what they say, etc. Someone with significant talent can be a real challenge to a pastor. Someone comes in who can perhaps out-preach him, or always has a word for the church, or.... It's not hard for a pastor to wind up seeming quite small an ineffective, even though he is the one who truly has the church at heart. ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THIS EQUATION.... If I go to a church and people are just outrageously friendly, want to take me and my family to dinner (even though they don't know me), you know what I think? CULT. There is friendliness...and there is creepiness. Maybe I'm just messed up in some way, BUT IT IS MORE LIKELY THE CASE THAT I AM A TOWERING DYNAMO OF SPIRITUAL DISCERNMENT!!!!! (Not really, but I like typing in all caps.)Seriously, a few years ago, there was this thing that some churches were trying where they would take first-time visitors to dinner, etc. While I'm sure the intentions were right, I don't know if they fully understood how real people might see that. I imagine there were some who took them up on the dinner...and plenty who didn't. Of course, if you only want people who WOULD go allow complete strangers to buy their dinner, well, that probably worked well.

The church we recently joined had the same approach. The membership class was basically a four week effort to give fencesitters second thoughts about joining. They were as honest as could be about the inner workings of the church and their positions on thorny issues of doctrine and practice. It was great. There was also an informal meeting with a pastor-elder required so you could share your testimony of salvation and they could evaluate your understanding of and belief in the gospel. They said very few fail that interview, and when they do they just lovingly put the brakes on and ask if the person would be willing to engage in some discipleship prior to joining. But the membership process in general was informal but extremely serious, and my wife and I both really appreciated that. Oh how I wish my church did something like this. We have nothing,and I do mean nothing. People become members simply by telling the pastor they want to join the church. Sa “Hell will be filled with people that didn’t cuss, didn’t drink, and may even have been baptized. Why? Because none of those things makes someone a Christian.”