Acts20.com

I had someone come out and ask me to be their friend. I responded I can’t do that. I felt they were just looking for someone to complain to and I’m not upto it. It really caused me to think. I’ve always been a very public person, but after years of some hurt and feeling betrayal I’m just not looking for friends. I want to be friendly, helpful and compassionate. I’m just not looking for the friend’s that I use to be looking for. I’m content spending time in ministry and with family. I even enjoy being alone and that use to drive me crazy. I’m struggling with knowing I’ve built a wall and that I like living behind it. I just don’t want to fail God or people because I’m becoming more introverted. I’m wondering if maybe it’s an age thing. Lol Over 2 years ago my entire life changed. I pulled away from almost everyone I considered a ministry colleague because I didn’t want my negative experience to influence others. It became another wall. A year ago I left the only denomination I had ever been a part of and that became another wall. The positive is my focus has narrowed. I have more to give just to a fewer people. I love pastoring a great church and love my family. I struggle with wondering what is my new normal and even what I want that to look like. Am I living behind a wall or am I just learning to live on another side of a wall. Maybe the question is why do we have to have walls.lol Trust might be the name of my wall

I will not approach the spiritual part of this. I struggle enough and am a very poor person to advise on a level that is way above my paygrade. That said, and this is a serious question, How is your hearing? I am very serious. Your physical hearing can slowly move you to become reclusive. I was an outgoing children's teacher and chalk artist and on the side was a respected and successful General contractor. I become introverted, turned the business over to my son and started writing. I am not a good writer, but it keeps me away from crowds. At first i talked too much to keep from having to listening.Dow, my brother if it is a problem that is spiritual then God and you will work it out. If it is physical he can heal. If He doesn't heal and it is hearing, get some cheap hearing aids off the net and see if life changes.It is just an idea, I do know looking back at my experience as I lost my hearing I closed the circle of friends ring. It is bettter with Cochlear implants but I am still reclusive.I am a poor person for advice, but I do know hearing causing a lot of wht you described.Love ya dude, God is GOOD Some facts but mostly just my [email protected]/