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If someone in your family or your church has a miscarriage, what do you do? Do you have a little funeral service, burial? This is not always possible to do as you would with an adult because the remains are not always available

The remains are almost always not available. They are either too small to see, so small that they are lost amidst all the rest of the discharge, or removed and disposed of during a DNC (if the baby is already dead, for instance).My wife and I have had four miscarriages. Two were at the hospital and the remains were too small to find and/or were lost among the other discharge. The third was at home, and the baby was large enough to see, though still extremely small, and so desicated that I don't think anyone else would recognize the baby as anything but normal discharge. We eventually disposed of the remains since we knew that the baby was with Christ. The fourth was a baby that was deceased inside my wife, and she had a DNC so we could have the baby's genes examined. The remains were not returned to us.I would not have wanted to have a funeral service for any of our lost babies. It was just an intensely personal experience that we wanted to experience alone and with family and very close friends.

We had a similar tragedy recently, just one. We had had four children when we were younger, and never had a miscarriage (as far as we knew) prior. It had always been pregnancy followed by a baby. But in your 40's things can be different. I think we have the remains. I sealed them up to bury later. I was going to bury the baby in the yard on a rented property. One of the little kids objected that we would not have access later. I do not want to do a full-blown funeral service. I was thinking of burying on my mother's land, but she could potentially sell later. I am just so indecisive about this. I want everyone to be satisfied. My wife wanted the remains buried directly in the ground, because of from dust to dust rather than in the metal container I am using. I think her people do use coffins, though

We went through the same... wanting to bury the remains (such as they were), but not wanting to bury them at our starter home that we would one day be selling.

This is a good question that I have never considered. I appreciated DD's comment, it makes a lot of sense.However i can see concern if the fetus is developed. Very good points Link. thanks for a chance to think, where I had not considered a reason to do that before.'It is amazing how blank I am at times. Some facts but mostly just my [email protected]/

2 miscarriages here....her body absorbed/passed one

Re: 2 miscarriages here....her body absorbed/passed one

Ugh. One of ours was on Dec 23. Thankfully the holiday was actually pretty nice, we told our family that we didn't want anyone to bring it up, and while we were extremely sad it was nice to feel normal.

I've never experienced this, but I have heard others' share of their experience. One friend's grandchild was born stillborn at 9 months and they chose to do a funeral, which is quite expensive. She took a lot of pics with him and posted them on Facebook, which seemed very odd, but I guess everyone grieves in their own way.A FB friend shared that they burned the remains in their fireplace, sort of a personal cremation. I think it was their first pregnancy. She kept something from that day (NOT from the remains) of a memento to keep and remember.I know of a pastoral couple who lost twins born too early and they buried them on Christmas Eve. But out of the ashes of their grief, God birthed a ministry that is strong and vital many years later.If you suffer a miscarriage at the hospital or if the baby is stillborn, the remains are put into an incinerator. This may vary by hospital, but it is the policy at ours. If the parents want to bury the remains, they may choose to do that also More of Him...less of me.twitter.com/camiracle77www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=691241499&ref=name

We were not given a choice. Being very young, we didn’t know what to do and just did what we thought was right. I’m still sick over it.[/quote]Oh, Eddie...I'm so sorry. You've been carrying this a long time. Maybe you and your wife could discuss something you could do to honor this babe's memory...something tangible like planting a special tree or something like that. Someplace you could go to honor the baby and mark that he/she is a part of your life. Perhaps it would help you forgive that young man who did the best he knew to do...Prayers for healing.. More of Him...less of me.twitter.com/camiracle77www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=691241499&ref=name